Saturday, July 26, 2014

2: Béatrice Moquin, The Biggest Sin


The time was 6 o'clock.
Béatrice yawned aloud with her arms wide as the long and tiring trip had taken all her strenght. She had stayed a night in a New York hotel because of the 12-hour flight. It was the first flight Béatrice had ever been on - after a little shock she had been able to loosen up. Thanks to the unpleasant seat she couldn't have catch a sleep.
As Béatrice stepped out from the skyscraper hotel, her eyes widened; big, tall buildings next to another with all the neon signs. She saw how all the pavements were fully crowded with people, how yellow taxis drove past her and how she heard english first time in her lifetime - if all the english classes didn't count, where she succeeded well and earned straight A's, being the best student in the class. She had surerly an almost perfect english skill which was rare to French people - she understood everything around her. She wasn't really fond of English though, and was proud of her French extraction. But now she had to adapt to the new environment, to new faces and to her new home where she had a half an hour taxi voyage.


Dense fog was hovering in the city air. Béatrice watched from the taxi seat how the traffic lights turned from red to green and how big car lines rushed on the move. It felt like her eyes were bleeding; she wasn't accustomed to all the racket what prevailed in there - constant honking, music playing at every block, and even the people's bubbling reached her ears from all the noises. She felt dizzy and all the clamor was to make her crazy.
The taxi turned right as the green sign guided. Then they went their way forward.



Not all the traffic were only cars speeding on the dark tarmac - there was movement beneath Béatrice's feet too. She saw a subway for the first time in her life, if photos weren't to count.



"Are you new in here?" the taxi driver woman asked suddenly.
"Y-yeah", Béatrice jumped out from her thoughts, "I'm from France. I moved here today, mainly because of the school."
"But that's nice to hear! I can guarantee that it's all worth it. They say that if you get fed up with New York, you're fed up with your life. There's always new things to do and you see new faces all the time. In addition, there are multiple places to visit. And New York isn't - as many may believe - a concrete jungle - you can find all the beautiful beaches and protected wildlife areas from the outskirt, to where you can take a walk and go to refresh yourself."
Béatrice was surprised how enthusiasticly the woman told about the city and its activities. How open-minded she was! Even though Béatrice didn't find English language fascinating, the real New York acent sounded graceful, soft...
"Thank you. It may take some time though, to see all the sights. It just feels a bit strange as I've never been in this kind of... skyscraper city. Everything feels just so grey, but I'm not claiming that the city didn't have it's beauty." Béatrice tried to speak as formally as possible to make an impress... since she was child she was taught that proper demeanor carries you far in the life.

"You'll surerly be accustomed to the greyness with time. To me, it took years to use to it... oh, I'm from Californian coast. There the sights are totally opposite."
"Mm. But what was this bridge called? It feels like we have been driving on it forever", Béatrice paid attention as they were driving out the city centre.
"It's called Brooklyn Bridge. You should definitely see it at nighttime, it's really comely with all the lights and decorations. You'll surely become infatuated with the nightlife when you'll get the chance to see it."


The taxi curved to a residental area which was full of exquisite, big and modern buildings. Béatrice had never seen anything like it: in her village all the buildings were either really small and rustic, or old and mansion-ish - in which category her home belonged to. Béatrice's feeling were conflicting; at the same time she was both excited and fed up - the look of the city didn't raise much eager feelings in her, but in the residental area the buildings had given her a whole new aspect of the city.
"How beautiful the houses are!" Béatrice gave a cry and held both hands against the window.
"Oh you've got it, but you'll not find them anywhere else. This area is mostly meant for celebrities and rich people. You should just see how much tourists come here just to admire and take pictures. Many has, or most of them, gates through which no one can enter without a password. The gates are tall enough that excited fans can't climb over them."
"Now I got it why celebrities are anxious and fed up with fans..."
"Exactly. By the way, you speak really good English. You would go for an native", the woman praised Béatrice. Béatrice got surprised from the praise as it was the first time when Béatrice really had a chance to use English in a real situation.
The taxi drove curvy roards forward all the way up the hill.


"We're at the destination", the Latino woman said and waited for the payment.
After paying the trip, Béatrice got off the car and catched the backpack with her. She walked in front of the gate which surrounded two-part building. There was exactly the same code system which the driver mentioned about. At the same time Béatrice remembered how her mother had left the paper on the table... and where she had written a code of five numbers. Béatrice digged through her backpack, and when she grabbed the paper she looked at it while she was walking to the gate.
"1452-1", Béatrice murmured while she wrote the number to the code system. Then the gate opened and hinges were squeaking. The code system informed that the gates will close up in ten seconds, so Béatrice walked briskly on the other side of the gate.


"Just where do I have to go?" Béatrice thought aloud in French, but then she saw a large number of mailboxes in front of her. "This is surely useful. I hope I remember the number of my appartement."
Béatrice recalled for a moment while browsing the numbers.
"1221, that must be it. Only now if I can find the right room."
Béatrice went to search her appartement.



Béatrice walked onward while looking the number signs that adorned before the foors. She didn't have to walk far - the second door number corresponded the number of her room. Béatrice took deep breath and opened the white gate.


Béatrice was more nervous than ever - she had to share the appartement with someone else, with a whole new person. As Béatrice arrived two weeks later than the rest pupils, she didn't get an own appartement. This room was the only room meant for two students.
To let herself to calm down a bit she pressed her hand on the door handle. The door started to open by itself, slowly...



A beautiful sight opened before Béatrice; a small kitchen and a living room combined. The room didn't meet her expectations at all as she thought she'd arrive to a ragged and smelly student apartment, but she was positively surprised. The room was just... smaller than she expected it would be. She had been accustomed to large rooms in her home.
A fresh fragrance was hovering in the air. She just couldn't explain it by words... like she had just arrived to a summer nature, fresh and flowery... Flowery? That was the best word to describe the scent.
The counters looked unused. The tidiness and systematic sparkled to her eyes. Every object was on their places. A carpet that laid on the floor matched perfectly with the desks. The grey colour mixed with fresh colours brought her homeland to the mind, where the rural style in the furniture was IN for that moment.
Maybe I'll enjoy my time in here. A neat flatmate is surely a nice surprise.



On the left side of the room situated a dining room. A huge table television was hanging from the wall. Béatrice had never seen such a large television in her life, not even in ads.
Dentist, day off, meeting with Umar at the motorcycle club? Béatrice stared at the dog calendar and observed texts that were written on it. A smile made her eyes slant when she realised that maybe her flatmate was as animal friendly as she was. We'll become good friends together!


How many Cd's! A blessed line of records blew her away. She was already going to touch and admire their beauty but she got her self-control. Of course I can't just go and touch other people's stuff.
A grim darkness conquered the room, but from the left she saw a blue light to push the darkness away. Béatrice walked bravely but humbly curiously further to the room.


An unknown human figure tapped a keyboard in front of the computer. The wall around the human was adorned with all sorts of strange posters and decorations. A beanie-headed man acted like she hadn't seen Béatrice's coming, or then she was just too intrested about the computer. Well, who would be intrested in me, Béatrice thought but tried to keep her mind positive still. And this place is all messy, but... it makes it actually very cosy.
"H-hi", Béatrice started with a small French accent in her talk, "my name is Béatrice. I-I'm moving here today."


No reply. Shame and distress captured her body. Suddenly she felt like she was an outsider. Maybe I'll turn around and leave, I don't want to interrupt him. But do I really have to live with a man? I'm so nervous... Would he be nice? When she looked around her for a bit she remembered: hey, but this is foreign students' girl dormitory! She's a woman!


Ahh, clothes are spreading overboard, Béatrice sighed in mind. She grabbed the wardrobe handle and tried to pull it open, carefully, but all the clothes were so stucked that the door didn't move a bit. But I would keep some discipline in here. It wouldn't a bad thing, would it? Besides, I like cleaning. I really like, I LOVE... or so my mother always told me. And mother's always right, isn't she? Béatrice was so confused from all the thought. She had lost her sense of reality once again.


Right when Béatrice was turning away from the room, she heard a low but soft woman voice behind her.
"Was it Béatrice?" A longer, straight-limbered woman, who really looked like a man and even sounded like one, raised from the chair and threw it away with might. The floor will get broken when you do that! Béatrice thought but pushed all the negative thoughts from the mind away as she was scared that her thoughts would be heard. But my mum's not looking into my eyes and seeing the truth in them anymore... 


"Sorry for my rudeness. 'Twas the most long-lastin', laborious but the most interestin' code I was just solvin'. I'd to push all the distraction away, else it'd break bad." The woman laughed to herself. "But yeh... Lynn." The woman extended her hand; Béatrice grabbed it and waited for a cheek kiss, but she had to be disappointing as the woman pulled her hand away and wiped it on her pants.
British accent! Though I can't follow every slang word she uses, it sounds like... like music. Even though Lynn seemed to be a reticent person, was Béatrice pleased that the woman apologised her behavior. How polite!


A bony finger started to point the bed that rested before their legs. "To begin' with, let's spell things out. 'Tis my bed in here, n ONLY my bed. While there", the finger moved 180 degrees, "is ya bed. Or 'tis a guest bed in fact, or was, but now 'tis yours. N speakin' of which, I don't wanna hear complaints 'bout how messy the room is. 'Tis ma style to live n I feel myself home when 'tis like this, so if it ain't pleasin' your eyes, it'll be your problem, not mine."
The list went on and on, and Béatrice tried to keep up with her fast and slang-ish speak. She nodded her head with comprehension and imprinted on her mind all what Lynn had said - or what Béatrice truly understood.


"Okey... Lynn. It's really pleasant to move here. Do You know that I've never traveled away from my home country. I mean France. And when I arrived, this place was totally different what my eyes had used to see. Where is all the greenness? It feels like I was dipped in a concrete mass..."
Like they do in France, Béatrice started the conversation smoothly, erasing all the things off the mind. She maintained the proper tone and didn't address people by their first name, expect if it was about her best friend.
I never had a best friend though...


Béatrice swallowed loudly. She smelled a soft fragrance around her. W-why is she so near me? W-what does she want from me?
"I don't trust peeps. If I see you ain't worth ma trust, I'll never let ya near me. I wanna be on ma own n I don't need any advice or anythin' airhead bimbo blah. Just to brief ya on things."
Slowly, Lynn started to pull herself back, maintaining the eye contact. Her eyes weren't mad but certain easiness was missing. Béatrice watched as the woman turned away and walked back to the computer. Why she said that I wouldn't be worth the trust? Béatrice thought, asking thousands of questions at the same time. Well, we will develop our friendship slowly. To my mind she really seemed like a nice person.


The bathroom is so beautiful! Béatrice afmired the bathroom which opened before her while she sat on the toilet, lowering her skirt and underpants. So many green shades, and white too! Just like I like it, she thought.


While Béatrice was washing her hands, she rubbed them hard and fast, but gradually the speed slowed down. Then the rubbing stopped. She hadn't given it a thought: in what place I've just arrived! Why are people always so mean and invidious to me? I've never wanted to hurt anyone. Just one nice deed for her and a tear was shining on her eye corner. What if I turned into a mean and rebellious too, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol like all the rest in my age? Would I become as popular and likeable person like them? But that wouldn't be her, she had always been herself. Was it because of her absent-mindedness that she never had real friends? Maybe she was a bit dumb and socially retarded but her heart was beating with caring and love. That was the skill not just anyone had.


"S-sorry for interrupting you earlier. I p-promise to leave you in peace", Béatrice said desperately from the door. Then she made her way to the kitchen. She didn't get any reply, not even a reaction, when she really realized that she shouldn't familiarize herself with Lynn anymore.
"But one question. Is there a phone in the appartement? I'd like to call -"
"In the hallway. On the wall", Lynn's voice thickened while she was munching crispy cereals.
"Thank you", Béatrice answered properly and stepped into the hallway.


"05 00..." Béatrice whispered while repeating her home number, which her parents had left to the kitchen table. She typed the number, failing a few times, but when she gave it a fourth try the call started to work. A familiar and comfortable voice answered.


"Hi mother, it's me."
"Béatrice, my sweetheart! You've probably found your way to your new home. How it is like in there? Have you already made acquaintance with your new flatmate?"
"Yes mother. I think we will become good friends together." Her mother didn't catch Béatrice's deep breath.
"I knew it. I knew it right away that when you'll get into a bigger environment you'll meet people similar to you. I'm so sorry that we couldn't farewell you with your father. And forgive me for everything. But I know that you'll be grateful later."
"Mother -"
"What? Hold on a second..."
She held on a second.
"I'm sorry, your father is already causing troubles with his attitude. I have to go now. Call back home later. Behave yourself!"
"I love y..."
"Bye bye!"


The call ended, and empty sounds of the phone made Béatrice's ear numb. Reluctantly she pressed the phone in it's place and sank in her own thoughts. Mother has always told that she loves me. Why didn't she reply anything this time? Why did she have such a hurry to end the call? I feel myself so lonely, no one is caring about me. 
Béatrice broke down but pulled her socks up right away. She strode back to the kitchen, wondering quietly in her mind what she would do next.


"Is ya mum always so harsh?" Lynn's sudden voice made Béatrice flinch.
"No... she is not harsh. She is just..."
"- occupied", Lynn answered like she was reading Béatrice's mind. "In her eyes, ya've already became a femme. Ya mum has become careless, that is."
For a second, Béatrice felt hot under the collar, but she kept the words to herself. She only nodded heavily. She never really felt anger, but negative comments concerning her mother made her become irritated and she was ready to defend her mother in any second.
"The adult world is cruel. 'Tis why I don't trust peeps. But maybe I can give ya a chance, you seem a kiddo inside."
What on earth is she talking about? Béatrice dwelled on. No, I'm not a kid anymore. It feels good to be an adult, why is she despising it? I don't understand.


"Mind puttin' the plate in the dishwasher? A new movie has already started playin' on the telly and I feel too lazy to raise my ass", Lynn pointed a plate with her eyes. There was some leftovers on its sides. Béatrice nodded and grabbed the plate right away, spinning around while trying to find the dishwasher. It must be there, Béatrice figured out, watching the washer that was standing in the corner. She opened it and placed the plate on its desolation, waiting for a company.
"What is the movie like?" Béatrice encouraged herself to ask, "I would like to watch it with You, if it's not much of a problem."


"'Tis called Terror wolf. Scored high", Lynn answered loudly while increasing the volume of the movie which was already screaming all too noisily. The tormenting music made Béatrice to block her eyes.
"H-horror movie?? My mother would never allow me to watch that. She says they are s...s..."
Sinful. But what would only happen if she told Lynn that her family was so religious? She made a gulp and found the courage. Her parents were not in sight, not seeing what she was doing - would it be bad if she just glimpsed into the movie, only for a second?
"But if ya're scared of horror stuff, I can change the channel. I ain't livin' alone anymore, so I think I have to take ya needs into account. Don't I?"
Lynns words made Béatrice's heart beat more tranquil. Like those friendly words had melted the ice around her. How good it felt when someone paid such a nice comment. Béatrice's eyes became teary, but she tried to hold her tears from flowing on her cheeks. She wiped the wetness with her hands fast so that Lynn didn't catch them.
"No need. I love horror movies."


For a moment the atmosphere was tensed up, but soon it faded away. By small steps their talk turned more deep and profound, more longer chats. They realised that they were so interested in other's business that the hour and half movie ended instantly. When the end credits started to show on the screen, they laughed aloud while realising that they didn't catch the movie at all.


"There", Lynn gave a remote control to Béatrice, "'tis ya turn to choose what we watch next."
Béatrice wasn't familiar with the object. In their home she wasn't allowed to watch television without her parents' permission, and even then there were only a few times. She had never touched or even looked closely a remote control, but still after an awkward glimpse she new which button to press to change the channel. She browsed through dozens of channels, and made a stop in some of them for their interesting names. She couldn't make her mind about what channel to watch as the spectrum was huge.


After still browsing for a while Béatrice found a channel where they described the weather of next few days. "Forecast! This is so much fun!"
Lynn tossed her head quickly at Béatrice, looking her while frowning. She shrieked with a high-pitched voice: "Did ya watch this at ya home? What a dull life ya had... Well, maybe we can watch it, if 'tis ya lifetime wish." After the sentence she made an amused laugh, covering it with her hand.
Béatrice watched in an entrance while a brown, a bit fat man told the weather of their borough. Sunny, she smiled. But will it ever be as hot as it was in my hometown?
"That man is so hilarious. But even if he is smiling, he does not really like to be in there, behind the screen. I can see it from his body language."
"Aye", Lynn answered briefly and shook her head while wondering what kind of thoughts Béatrice had inside her skull. "Is the guy ya type?"
"M-my type? I haven't given a thought for my type... I do not really talk with boys." Béatrice felt how the veins arouse on her skin, colouring her face bright red.
"Aaaa..." Lynn flashed a mysterious smile. "Now I understand. Fellas can be real maggots, 'tis why I prefer gals."
"Gals? How can you like girls... that way?" Béatrice thought something hit her head.
"Don't ya say you've neva heard the word lesbian? I hope so as I'm too lazy to keep a lesson 'bout it."
Béatrice's pulse hit 100.


"L-l-l-l...lesbian??"
Lynn turned back to Béatrice and gave her head a frown. She saw how Béatrice pulled her away, turning almost instantly back. She looked curious. Lynn shook her head in amusement and watched that tensed girl who seemed to swim back to her own thoughts. She's a weirdo, this one, Lynn thought. But maybe 'tis why I've started to like her.


"Listen, don't let it trouble ya at nights. If it makes ya feel better, just forget all what I mentioned 'bout it. I don't wanna that there's any tension between us because of this." Lynn got up and started to walk to her room, giving a last glance at her flatmate, "I'll get ma washin' stuff and go to take a shower. Let's chat later, ok?"
Béatrice gave a nod and found her staring the woman who had called herself a lesbian. Soon she disappeared in Béatrice's sight.


An outpouring of thoughts darted in Béatrice's mind. There were them one on the other so many that she didn't know of which thought she should start. She wiped off all the thoughts and only focused to change her pyjamas which she had left at the bottom of her backpack. After a quick change of the outfit and hair brushing she climbed on the bed, on which was a soft blanket.


If i roll in my sleep, I'll surely hit my body to the roof or the wall, Béatrice laughed in her mind. She tried to lay comfortably on the bed but didn't get between the sheets yet; she wanted to lay down and sort out her thoughts in piece while her flatmate was taking a shower.


Ahh, Lynn already arrived! How fast she was!
Béatrice observed when Lynn searched her pyjamas with no hurries. She was carrying a bathrobe which was tied tightly. Her hair was freed from the tight beanie.


"Are ya sleeping?" Lynn asked quietly, when Béatrice lowered herself to her side, quickly but without a noise. Lynn turned her head, but noticing that her flatmate didn't react to her question she turned back to look the wardrobe. She grabbed the bathrobe belt.


If i, just for a moment... just give a look for a second...
Béatrice opened her eyes slightly and aimed her eyes on Lynn. When she stared the slowly undressing woman, all her thoughts cleared out - only one word which she had heard only a moment ago was the only thought that floated on her mind.
Lesbian. Why would anyone call themselves the Biggest Sin? Béatrice recalled how her mother had always told her of it. She had defined its meaning with overly dramatic sound, defined it with cautionary sentences, but she had never really explained its true meaning. But it can't mean the Biggest Sin, it must have some meaning, why it is so sinful?
Then she remembered. I prefer gals, I'm a lesbian. That's what it means? That one loves a girl? But that is not possible! Béatrice shook her head lightly from side to side. But she didn't really see anything sinful in it. Love is a great thing, it is great if a person can feel love. But I would never fall in love with a woman myself, it would be totally terrible!
Totally ter-


....terrible...
Béatrice couldn't make a move. Almost a naked body, which she saw before her, made her body stiff, made her escape from the reality. She didn't recognize her from the thoughts she was having one by one. She couldn't take her eyes off from that woman, who was swimming through her way to the wardrobe, with careful hands. Finally she found something to put on. Or did she? She pushed it back to the closet.
Béatrice made an adventure with her eyes: she set her eyes on the woman's back, going down all the way her back to the light curve, trying to find a way back to the front side, up and down.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I control myself?


Béatrice flinched when Lynn turned around after a swift changing and walked towards Béatrice's bed. Béatrice turned her head away and pretended that she hadn't paid any attention to the almost-naked woman. Oh no, she can definitely see through me, I'm bad at lying... But I have to give it a try. You didn't notice anything, did you?
"So ya were sleeping, huh?" Lynn smiled, and Béatrice was now hearing Lynn's british accent in her laughing too. She leaned on the bed rail and tried to find Béatrices eyes, vainly - The blond woman was only looking far away.


Still in her thoughts, Béatrice squinted from her slanted eyes as Lynn sat on her bed, giving a loud yawning. Béatrice gave up to the energy that was unfamiliar to her. Why I get so confused? That shouldn't have happened! I'm abnormal, just like my mother told me. She was already hearing her mother's blaming voice in her head.


All the sudden, Béatrice fell down to so deep sleep that she didn't even realize she was sleeping. She was dreaming of freedom - which she finally had a chance to reach for.

Monday, July 21, 2014

1: Béatrice Moquin, All good things come to an end



It's a sunny and warm day on the 20th of August. A small French rural village, located to the Middle France, wakes up from darkness to an embrace of the orange sunshine. Gentle wind blows leaves lightly, and their movement is almost unnoticeable.



The village isn't very popular outside France but for many French people it's a splendid place to relax as it provides many kinds of activities; fishing, riding, boating and many other exercise possibilities. The town's sports hall, which is open from 10am to 6pm every weekday, can be visited in every season. It is the biggest building in the whole village, also one of the newest community buildings. It attracts millions of visitors per year.


Although the village mostly consists of middle-income inhabitants, there is a residental area of the rich on the verge of the village. A big turquoise river runs through the area all the way down to a lake. From the total five thousand inhabitants in the village, only a few have successed well enough to get a lot from the wealthiest but even more beautiful district. This house is a part of the rich, which belongs to the Moquins one child family, where forty-five years old boss of a big company, François and his nearly forty years old wife Jeanne live. They have 20-year-old daughter who is still living with them.


Béatrice Moquin, the daughter of François and Jeanne, has inherited her mother's blond hair and face features. On the other hand, sky blue, slightly pale eyes she have inherited from her daddy. Compared to other villagers, Béatrice has one or two notches paler skin colour which the Sun doesn't tan so easily and that's why her skin colour turns into red pretty easily. Thus, Béatrice prefers to spend time mostly indoors and steps outside only when a group of clouds have conquered the bright, clear sky. But when it comes to riding, she'll go outside no matter what weather it is - She has been into riding from the times she was in primary school. She has won numerous of competitions between her own village and municipalities and even a competition held between the whole France, once. In other sports she is beyond average and that's why her body figure is neither formidably muscular nor model skinny.


A few days earlier Béatrice competed in the last jumping race event in that year. This time Béatrice didn't win out but came from a few points from the winning to the second place with her horse Tempête (in English: strom)...


...But on the other hand, Béatrice won the galloping race which was in the same division with the jumping race. During many years, Tempête has been voted to the whole village's, and sometimes even to the whole France's, horses top list despite it's young age. Béatrice has never had more than one or two mates at school, so by spending some quality time with her horse they've build a tight, unbreakable bond of trust between them. If someone asked a question from Béatrice about who was her best friend, she would give a direct answer without even a second of hestitation "my horse, Tempête".


After the competition Béatrice didn't question a second whether she dared to relax properly. She decided to put new sunbathing chairs to a test, which her mother had bought lately, still after the Sun had set enough that it couldn't burn her skin. Béatrice gets along with the cooler air and doesn't feel the coldness so lightly, but on the contrary she can't stand the heat waves in the middle of the summerdays. But laying on the sunbathing chair was not enough to Béatrice so she swam in a huge pool in their homeyard. The  pool had cost a fortune and it was dedicated to Béatrice in her forteen years birthday.
But after the school...


...-"Hi! I'm home now", Béatrice had a habit to inform to her parents everytime she came from the school to home.
Béatrice is studying in a tiny university in her village where she has specialized in arts. She has been in her 2nd class nearly two weeks for now.


Béatrice peeked into the kitchen where her parents were sitting around the kitchen table, as silent as in a funeral. Béatrice lowered her schoolcase on the floor behind the wall and raised her swinging hand to awaken them from "trans" in which they currently were, to her mind. Normally her parents reacted at least with a hi-shout when Béatrice came back home if they were present, but this time neither of them paid a greeting back. "There's something wrong", Béatrice thought.


-"Sit down, my child. Sit, by all means", Français guided Béatrice to sit down next to him.
-"Father, what's going on here? You are acting in really a strange way, you didn't even answer when I came home." Béatrice paid attention to her mother's ring finger - the wedding ring was gone.


-"Béatrice", Jeanne interrupted, "the thing is that... that me and your father are going to divorce. There's only a one step before we're actually going to divorce formally."
-"...But why?" Béatrice asked while glancing alternately her mother and father. 
-"Your father's company went bankrupt, I just cannot and I do not want to live my whole life in debt imprisonment."
-"You were with my father only because of money?" Béatrice got agitated as she was disgusted how her mother talked about abandoning her father at that kind of moment. Only when Béatrice had believed that her parents loved each other genuinely. She had believed that despite the richness money wouldn't have been in the first place in their relationship. But it turned out to be the other way around.
-"Béatrice, calm down", Français continued, "this is the best decision when concerning everyone. Life is always beatable, no matter what turns out, in some day this man will live richly too." A small glittering tear was recognizable from Français' corner of the eye which was ready to roll down her father's cheek. But there was something to hold it in it's place, like something didn't want it to move a bit. 
-"But how about me?"
-"We are thinking your best", Jeanne landed her hand on Français' hand which was resting on his left tight. 
-"What is my best then? Please, let me live still here."


-"Can you see that newspaper on the table?" Jeanne asked, clearing her throat. Her smoking of twenty years had really lowered her voice and made it sound rough-ish.
-"Yep. But what makes it so strange?"
-"Take a look at it." Béatrice grabbed the paper in her hands, looking at the date of it. It was a month old paper from the midway of July. It wasn't either the same kind of paper like those other ones which Béatrice always read in mornings at a cup of coffee before going to school. The text was in english and big names were shining in photos and headlines who were from the west continent - the hottest names in Hollywood. But what the paper did in their home? 
-"Yes, your eyes don't lie. The paper in your hands is printed in USA which is sent abroad also. Take a look at the inside of it", Jeanne guided.


-"No, not that double page. Just open the second last one." Béatrice obeyed and opened the view of announcements which conquered the whole double page. There were announcements of selling pets, of apartments, jobs...
-"We were just thinking with your mother that it would be already best for you to go to see the world. You are already 20 years old and I'm hurt every time how you tell about the ongoing bullying. Now you have a chance to go to see the world with your own eyes and meet new people. It's already time for you to get independent, Beatrice", Français got Béatrice's heart beat even faster. 
-"We have acquired a place from New York university for you!" Jeanne cried out with a high pitched voice, "you are going to move into girls' dormitory, but as you arrive two weeks late you need to share your appartment with a girl. But who knows, maybe you will become good friends together..."
-"Yeap, and the dormitory is meant only for girls! You do not need to encounter men", father continued with his story. Béatrice has never had permission to have a boyfriend as to her old-fashioned parents' mind she wasn't ready for a boyfriend until she was ready to get married with him and have babies.


"One place left in a girls' dormitory which is meant for students of New York university from first to last grade. The appartment will be shared with another student. If you are interested, please contact the following contact information..."


-"Well, how it sounds like, my dear daughter?" Français gazed at Béatrice's serious face with a glance in his eyes as maintaining hope of that his daughter would exhilarate of the idea.
-"I'm not going..." Béatrice said so quietly that it was almost impossible to hear.
-"I'm sorry, I didn't catch it."
-"I'M NOT GOING!" Béatrice shouted and hit the paper on the table so hard that you could detect the frightening clearly from their stiff appearance. It was the first time when they saw their always-so-peacefully calm daughter got nervous.
-"Why do I have to suffer from your divorce the most? Why are my parents still deciding about my life even though I'm already over eighteen years old?" Béatrice calmed down so quickly the mood changed like a sharp spike from anxious to deep sadness. From the both sides of Béatrice's cheek tears flowed down so fastly that it was like they did not touch her soft skin at all.


-"I do understand your reaction but everything is already settled and nothing can be cancelled. My sweety, do you understand that this is only good for you?" Jeanne tried to encourage Béatrice, "think the positive side. Now you may have the first chance to get many new friends and you get to see all the skyscrapers of the big city. Some may only dream of living in New York and now you'll have the chance - and we'll cover the costs!"
-"Why's everyone talking about how amazing place it is to live in USA? This is my home and I want to live here... and Tempête is here too..."
-"Béatrice, you need to grow up. A horse is just an animal which doesn't mean anything to you in the end!"


Akward silence suffused the kitchen table. Even a small creak of the chair or hand movement felt like a scream in Béatrice's ears. All the sounds which were present with that silence felt like clawing its way deeper into Beatrice's empty cranium. What was that her mother just said?
-"You can never feel the same way as what I feel towards Tempête", Béatrice said with a low, quiet voice.
-"Béatrice..."
-"...Okey, I'll go. But only if you take back your words. Only if I can kiss goodbye to Tempête and if you promise to take good care of it when I'm gone."
-"Go, my child. The flight departs in early tomorrow morning. You have time for this day", Français joined the conversation. He saw how his child bolted from the chair and started to run towards the front door, towards the stable where Tempête currently was. He didn't stand to see his child's agony and wanted to keep his last promise as well as he could. Maybe that way Beatrice could forgive his father of that mess which had caused by their non-formal divorce.


Béatrice had put her riding outfit on so that she would have a chance to ride with her best friend for the last time - with Tempête. She arrived to her horse's yard where Tempête accepted Béatrice's hug with a neigh. Even though there had been only a day since they last time met, the pause had felt much longer than that.
-"Oh Tempête, how sad I am that I can't spend time with you for longer than this day. We have so many good memories together", she sighed while petting her horse's snout.
-"Come, your fur is full of mess. Let me brush you for the last time."
Béatrice leaded Tempête out from its yard.


Béatrice brushed Tempête's back carefully slowly and each brush was slower than the previous one. In the end, Béatrice's hand stopped in one place and could not move it; it truly was the last time when she was able to see him, and even if the day came when they could see each other it would be after multiple years. Still, Béatrice wanted to believe that her father kept his promise and didn't wipe Tempête out. Tempête already anticipated for sure what was going to happen - animals are not stupid.


-"Do you still remember when we rode here for many hours?" Béatrice asked while looking at the yellowish fieldsight caused by sunset. She watched the barn which had been empty for many year because it's owner had sold the barn and fields for public use. Today the barn was crammed with grass fed to cows which are eating on the fields in every autumn.
-"It's been, sure enough, many years... where the time has rushed so quickly? It's like everything happened only the day before yesterday."


The Sun flowed behind the mountains fastly, changing the field sight abruptly darker. In these lands the Sun indeed set and rose quickly. It started to be so dark soon that it was better for Béatrice to leave towards the stable. Though the village was one of the savest it was hard to navigate to home on backroads in the darkness where were no streetlights around. 
-"Look how beautiful it is here", Béatrice petted Tempête's neck, "there's so peaceful here. We need to leave towards our home, though."


Tempête had a feeling of what was going to happen. It anticipated how sad Béatrice felt inside but didn't want to show it to Tempête. Yet the horse knew her too well Béatrice could not hide something like that. Tempête had a feeling that this day was the last one in their memories, last day they were together. Tempête felt how Béatrice's hot tears dropped one by one one on it's neck.
-"I'm sorry, it's just too hard to restrain it", Béatrice gave up and let the waterfall free which she could not hold any longer.
Tempête rose on its hind legs and gave a loud neigh - it was like Tempête was crying too, it was like it was it's way to sorrow. Béatrice rose her hand in the air, trying to touch everything behind it - trying to take them inside her hand and taking them with her so that she wouldn't feel lonely. Her home was here, with Tempête, and nothing was going to change that. She swore in her mind that she came back as quickly as possible, spending time with Tempête in the same way as they used to. It was Béatrice's only wish.


Tempête descended back to four legs, staying totally quiet and listening Béatrice's sad voice. Cold air pushed from their back which gave goosebumps to her. The autums was coming faster than usually because in that time it was normally nicely warm at nine o'clock, so that people could withstand the weather with a t-shirt.
-"We need to go home", Béatrice cried. She kicked softly the horse to a gallop and they went down the hill.


A bronze trophy from a jumping race paraded behind the bed on the table which Béatrice had won from the race held between the whole France, taking the third place with Tempête. There were also awards from an art competition on the wall, taking the first place, and on the left side of it was an award from riding competition, taking the second place which was held precisely one year ago. The other awards were located downstairs in a glass cupboard in the living room.
Béatrice settled down on her bed, taking a look at the awards overarm once again. She would have wanted to cry once again but she could hold it, though. She got always migraine attacks, occassionally even really strong ones everytime she cried too much. And besides if she cried more, it would have been harder for her to accept the fact that she had to move on with her life and she had to become an adult. Adulthood indeed was cruel.


Béatrice turned off the lamp on her bedside table and lied down. She tried to think in a positive way, hoping that next day she could find out that everything was only a piece of jape - like in April Fool's Day.
Béatrice closed her eyes and started to count the sheeps.


-"Looking ready", Béatrice finished her new look which she wanted to make an impression with in her new hometown, in New York, where she was going to head these small hours. In some day she wished to colour her naturally blnod hair to dark as she had heard from her only friend that men preferred brunettes to blonds. 
Men. What would he know about them. Why everything was forbidden from me? Béatrice thought. Why my parents didn't allow me to experience the warm and protecting touch of a man?
However, Béatrice still loved her natural colour because it was atupically light and brown may have looked too dark in her.


Béatrice opened her wardrobe for 10th time to check that she surely remembered to pack all her favourite clothes with her and leaving the worthless and older clothes at home which she could use when she paid a visit to her home next time.
Béatrice loved pastel colours and also a little bit brighter colours. Her favourite colours were turquoise and sky-ish blue which she composed to her clothes a lot. She was wearing the newest clothes which she had bought from a big city near her village when she was paying there a visit several weeks ago.
Béatrice leaved her room and headed down to downstairs.


Béatrice didn't really drink coffee but at this moment she was so tired when she woke up so early that she couldn't help herself but try if a cup of coffee would refresh. She had heard many tales about how coffee helped to refresh, thanks to it's caffeine percentage. However, only the smell of the coffee made Beatrice nauseous - but if she didn't get anything invigorating she would have fallen asleep right away. Waking at 2:30 o'clock was totally not anything pleasant.


Béatrice took a seat on the smaller kitchen table in the kitchen. She paid attention to a sheath of paper on the table from which she recognized her mother's handwriting. She took the paper in her hands and started to browse the text with her eyes, a line from line, a word from word.
"Hi Béatrice,
Me and your daddy are really sorry for that we could not make it to say goodbye to you. We were forced to go to a city next to our village to settle our divorce things. I hope you woke up in time and get to the aeroport with a taxi well in advance. We have packed supply for you, you'll find them in the fridge, hopefully you remember to take them with you. Hopefully you remembered to pack everything essential with you! Me and your dad love you with all our hearts, wishing that you will have really fun time in your new hometown. Remember to behave!
With love, your dad and mum."
Béatrice put the coffee cup down, solidifying in a thought bubble for a several seconds. "Whose parents leave their child alone at the moment like this, kissing goodbye with a single paper sheath?" Béatrice thought. Yet her parents send her in a new land without asking from her. It was rude enough but still acceptable, but in this case... 
Béatrice pulled her socks up, taking the paper sheath in her both hands and teared it from amid, leaving the two peaces on the table next to each other.


A taxi curved in front of the Béatrice's house. A middle-aged man got off from the taxi who was ready to receive heavy luggage and place them to the trunk of the taxi - but, Béatrice was only carrying her school bag in which she had folded her clothes nicely so that they barely fit. In addition to clothing Béatrice carried a passport, teeth-washing stuff, the flight tickets and a wallet in which had Béatrice's last year's savings. There was not much money but her parents surely transferred money into her account monthly for the rent and food - and for the school, of course.
Béatrice sat on the backseat. The man behind the steering wheel was watching her through the mirror with an inquiring face, squeezing his dark eyebrows gently.
-"To the nearest aeroport", Béatrice guided and in the same second the taxi rushed on the move slowly.


-"Farewell my lovely hometown", Béatrice thought. "Farewell the centre of the village, farewell the bridge that's crossing the river, farewell the river where we used to fish with my dad when I was a kid..."


"...Farewell my school where I enjoyed to be despite the bullying and discriminating. That smell which encountered me in front of the classroom was something unspeakably graceful. There was something so unique in it which made to forget all those grieves which I happened to carry..."


-"Farewell all those lovely tiny shops where they sold clothes and fresh foreign delicacies. And the customer service... people surely aren't as open-minded and happy in New York as they are here, that's what I'm sure of... "



"...Farewell Tempête. You are the one I will miss the most. It can't be explained by words how", Béatrice was holding her tears, "...how important you are to me, how good friend you've been for me. However, all the good things seem to come to an end, and I wish you, my dear friend, nothing but good. And I hope that my father can keep the promise he gave to me about you - that you could still live in your old days with full of happiness in your own stable. Maybe you will get someone new good friend and you will forget me, but I can guarantee to you that no one can replace you in my heart... no one, ever."